Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken my Lord, and I don’t know where they laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher. 

"I’m at a payphone trying to call home, all of my change I spent on you. Where have the times gone; it’s all wrong. Where are the plans we made for two? It’s hard to remember the people we used to be. It’s even harder to picture that you’re not here next to me. I’ve wasted my nights, you turned out the lights. Now, I’m paralyzed, still stuck in that time when we called it love, but even the sun sets in paradise."  

The Gospels do not describe the pain of any romantic breakups because the preparation for marriage was not the same in Jesus' time as it is now.  But there is comparable pain as we consider some situations of the Gospels. Study, for example, the feeling of Mary Magdalene at the tomb of Jesus on his Resurrection day. She thought she had lost the one she had come to love, and so the pain was great in her life at that moment in time. It would pass quickly, as indeed romantic breakups in our day often do, but at that particular moment, the pain paralyzed her, and she felt that the sun had set on her paradise.

The description of the group Maroon 5 and Wiz Khalifa who sings with them in the song "Payphone" is one of serious pain. The breakup has occurred, and as they describe it, it has paralyzed the man in the relationship, and there is no longer any feeling of happiness. Actually, it is a good time for the man to study what has happened in the relationship. It is a good time for him to ask some serious questions, questions that deal with what he did to cause the breakup, why it happened, what was said, what was not said, what he was doing now in reaction to it. Of course, the breakdown of any relationship is the result of two people who are often both at fault, but because of our human natures, we are inclined to forget about the fault that may be ours.

Breakups are sung about often in the love songs of our day and they present good opportunities to speak of pain, even in words that are too explicit for "good music." The mental pain of something that we wanted to work out and has not is often so intense that we express it in ways that are not appropriate. Unfortunately, the feelings are relatively easy to identify because the pain is common in our world.

In the Gospel, Mary Magdalene was able to overcome the mental pain of loss by asking questions, that is, by seeking some external help for the way she was feeling. As we study our mental pains because of romantic breakups or other hurtful moments, we must learn the lesson of asking some difficult questions of ourselves and perhaps others who can help. They will be questions of why and in particular of what we may have done to cause the pain. We may not have an outcome of the extreme happiness that Mary Magdalene felt, but we will be able to understand the pain a little better, and thus allow it to lessen.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, we feel pain in our lives, both physical and mental. The mental pain can paralyze us in such a way that we do not function the way we should. Give us your grace to face the pain, seeking your help and the help of others to understand it more. Be with us, we pray. 

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike

©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America