TGIMMdon't

	"CHEATING" IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP

The Gospel

JOHN 4:16-19

Jesus said to [the Samaritan woman], "Go, call your husband, and then come back here." "I have no husband," replied the woman. "You are right in saying you have no husband!" Jesus exclaimed. "The fact is, you have had five and the man you are living with now is not your husband. What you said is true." "Sir," answered the woman, "I can see you are a prophet."

The Media -- "Don't" (Ed Sheeran)

"I met this girl late last year," and then the man goes on to talk about meeting up with her a couple of times. Then, they move in together, and life seems good. But then another man comes along for her. He sings: "I wasn’t looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different. It’s a bit too much, too late if I’m honest. Don’t mess with my love. That heart is so cold all over my home. Don’t mess with my love."

At one time in his life, Jesus encountered a person that we have come to know as the Samaritan woman. She seems to have had problems in her life, and from the interaction between Jesus and her, the problems may have stemmed from the sexual area of her life. Apparently, there were a number of "men" in her life, men whom she lived with for a time, and then gave them up in order to be with another. One can easily surmise that in terms of twenty-first century language, she was into "cheating" on her husband. She found another man to love even as she was supposedly devoted to another. Jesus knew exactly what she was doing.

It is a common situation in today's world, and Ed Sheeran's song "Don't" is an instance of it. The song is about a girlfriend of the man in the song who cheated on him, and how he feels about it as he finds out. The couple seems to be on some type of musical tour, perhaps different artists doing different things, and the story unfolds from there. He thought she would be "loyal" even though no solid commitment had been expressed, and she was not.

Discovering other possible relationships while involved with someone is always problematic. More often than not, one of the couple in the relationship thinks that their relationship is "special" and therefore should be strong while the other has no such feeling. If the relationship has been going for a while, this so-called "cheating" should never occur without strong discussion beforehand. If the relationship is a young one, perhaps the couple ought to agree from the outset that both can be interested in other partners.

Whatever the relationship, perhaps one of the topics of discussion as the couple begins to go together is what each considers "cheating" on the other. In the dating patterns in which we choose our own partners, both of the partners must be very clear about what each accepts to be part of their relationship.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, one of the most important decisions that we make as individuals is whether to marry and who to marry. As we make those decisions in our lives, help us be totally honest with each other. Be with us, we pray.

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GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: Every couple in a love relationship must understand what "cheating" on the other means in their love development.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. In the Gospel, according to Jewish law, Jesus should not have been conversing with the Samaritan woman because Samaritan women were ritually impure. Why do you think Jesus deliberately broke the law?
2. Jesus continually upholds the sanctity of marriage. Do you think our world considers "marriage" to be a sacred act? Yes or no and why?
3. It is a Christian belief that premarital sex ("moving in with another" usually implies it) is wrong. Why do so many young Christian couples move in together anyway?
4. The album version of the song uses slang curse words to get the point across. Perhaps the reason lies in how "angry" he feels when he thinks that she is "messing with his love." What is the best way to work with anger in our world?
5. Text analysis: "That heart is so cold all over my home." What is the meaning of the sentence?
6. In general, what is your feeling about people who "cheat" on their boyfriend or girlfriend?
7. In your opinion, is their much "cheating on relationships" in high school? In college? Why?
8. Why do you think many couples automatically "assume" certain things in a relationship without checking with the other partner?
9. The meditation speaks of a relationship that has been going on for a while. Why is "cheating" in this type of a relationship "wrong"?
10. The meditation also speaks of a young relationship. If "cheating" takes place, it usually is an indication that the relationship is not a permanent one yet. Because of the pain involved, the possibility of "cheating" should be replaced by simply agreeing that both parties can date other people. Why do young couples often move into a steady relationship so early?
11. In your opinion, do most couples speak about "cheating" as they discuss their relationship? Yes or no and why?
12. What does the song "Don't" teach young people?

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike