TGIMMallin

	LETTING GO OF DEFENSES

The Gospel

JOHN 19:38-42

After [Jesus died], Joseph of Arimathea, secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus. And Pilate permitted it. So he came and took his body. Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom. Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried. So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by.

The Media -- "All In" (Lifehouse)

"All night staring at the ceiling, counting the minutes I’ve been feeling this way, so far away and so alone. But you know it’s alright. I came to my senses, letting go of my defenses. There’s no way I’m giving up this time. Yeah, you know I’m right here, I’m not losing you this time. And I’m all in, nothing left to hide. I’m falling harder than a landslide. I spent a week away from you last night, and now I’m calling out your name. Even if I lose the game, I’m all in, I’m all in for life."

Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus were disciples of Jesus, but they kept it secret, no doubt because they were afraid of what might happen to them. They were willing to risk a little of themselves, but not completely. But when they witnessed the death of Jesus, they could keep quiet no longer. They openly requested to bury Jesus, thus showing to everyone that they were willing to risk everything because of this person that they had come to love and respect. They could hide no longer. Their action is a lesson for the spiritual life, namely that Christians must openly profess their faith in Jesus. But it is a lesson that must be learned in our material lives as well.

The person in Lifehouse's song "All In" lost his girlfriend at one time, did not like the feeling, and finally came to his senses by letting go of the defenses that kept him from opening up to her. In order to love a person completely, we must take the chance of making ourselves vulnerable to the person we love. We will hide nothing as we promise to be "all in" in the relationship for life.

The quality of opening up and risking everything is a quality that must be present in every true love relationship. Of course, not every love relationship is true in the sense of being complete. People often move in and out of love relationships. A romantic love relationship can be true only if there is a sharing of the truth. A person cannot hide the truth from someone, and at the same time love that someone completely.

But, as one talks of sharing the truth, a word of caution must be spoken: we must know how much to share. Too many people are hurt when they share too much; also too many would-be love relationships are never formed because too little of the truth is shared. All of us must develop the skill of deciding what kind of love relationships we are forming, and therefore how much of ourselves to share.

However, whether we are cautious or not, if love is to be complete, we must let go of our defenses as the group Lifehouse sings. That is, we must risk sharing the complete truth. It means making ourselves vulnerable, opening ourselves in such a way that the other in the relationship could take advantage of us with the personal knowledge that we have given to them. It is not easy, but if we really want to be "all in" in a romantic love relationship, we will hold nothing back from the other.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, you give us the ability to have friends in our world, and for that, we are thankful. Help us as we experience love relationships with others to learn to share with them the personal truths that we should share. Be with us, we pray.

+++++

GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: In a deep love relationship, the couple must risk sharing the complete truth.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. The burial customs today are different than they were in the time of Jesus. What part of burial customs today have made the most impression on you? Why?
2. Joseph and Nicodemus showed courage in their actions as they risked telling the truth of their belief in Jesus . Where have you seen Christian courage in your world?
3.What are the "defenses" that a person will use with the person they love?
4. The person in the song "lost" his friend in the past. What are the principal causes of a breakup? What can be done to repair the relationship in each cause that you listed?
5. Text analysis: "I spent a week away from you last night." What is the meaning of the sentence?
6.Text analysis: "all in." What does the phrase mean in light of today's dating patterns?
7. What does the "deep sharing" consist of between people truly in love?
8. How do people openly profess their faith in Jesus in today's world?
9. In your opinion, do most married people truly share the complete truth with their spouses? Yes or no and why?
10. In general, as a person begins the process of dating another, should there be some sharing of a person's deepest truths? Yes or no and why?
11. What does the song "All In" teach young people?

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike