TGIMMrude

Song: "Rude" -- Magic!

THE DECISION TO MARRY "ANYWAY"

The Gospel

MATTHEW 5:31-32

Jesus said, “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.’ But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife unless the marriage is unlawful causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Gospelthink: In my doctrine, there is no place for divorce. If I am married, am I faithful. If I am not, have I controlled my lustful desires?

The song "Rude" is the story of a young couple who want to get married, and the father of the girl does not approve and then records what transpires after the father says "no" to the man who is asking the hand of his daughter. "Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?," the man asks her father. "Tough luck,” he says, “but the answer is 'no'." Then the man responds "Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too? I’m gonna marry her anyway."

In the video to the song "Rude," by Magic!, the man in the relationship does exactly what he says he would do: he marries the lady even though he does not have her father's approval.

There is little doubt that in our Western culture the desire of the couple to be married or not is paramount. Marriage is a significant moment in a couple’s life. They must ultimately make the decision. They have prepared for it, have talked about how they are ready, where they will live, how they will live, and how they will make it in the world. The commitment is their's to make.

But if they are Christian, they must pay close attention to the words of Jesus who said that those who marry must never consider divorce unless there are very exceptional circumstances. It follows that the couple must be aware of the possible causes of divorce and must study the situations that could bring it about.

One of those causes according to divorce lawyers is the attitude of the individual families. Those families will play a significant part in the couple’s life together, and it must not be taken lightly. When one of their families does not want the marriage to happen and is strong in their opposition, then there is a problem.

What must happen as a result of such a problem? It depends on the individuals who are involved, of course, but by far the best thing that the couple can do is to work together to bring their families along to agree with their decision. They can indeed say, "We'll get married anyway," but they will generally be a lot happier if they would spend some time nurturing not only a love for each other, but for each other's family as well.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, thank you for the opportunity of involving ourselves in romantic love and eventually for the gift of marriage. As we love the person we will marry, we ask for your guidance and direction to love each other's families as well. Be with us, we pray.

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GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: Love of each other's family will generally help a couple's marriage.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Jesus' stand on divorce is very strong. Why do many Christians not agree with it?
2. There seems to be an exception to Jesus' condemnation of divorce in Matthew's Gospel in this passage. In your opinion, in today's world, do you think that there can be exceptions to Jesus' command? Yes or no and why? (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, second edition, numbers 2382-2386.)
3. If there is an exception to Jesus' words on divorce, what do you think the exception should be?
4. How important in a marriage is the father of the bride to be?
5. If a couple is thinking seriously about marriage, do you think that the parents of the couple should be consulted first? Yes or no and why?
6. Is it true that the father of the bride-to-be is "rude" in the song? Yes or no and why?
7. Project: obtain a copy of the video to the song, and discuss its implications.
8. The meditation makes the point that the couple's decision to be married is ultimately the only one that means anything. Is the statement true or false? Why?
9. What are the causes of divorce in our modern society?
10. What should happen if the parents still do not agree with the marriage even after spending a significant amount of time trying to make them understand?
11. What does the song "Rude" teach young people?