| DYSFUNCTIONAL LOVE | |
| The Gospel | MATTHEW 27:3-5 |
Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing
that Jesus had been condemned, deeply regretted what he had done. He
returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,
saying, “I have sinned in betraying innocent blood.” They
said, “What is that to us? Look to it yourself.” Flinging
the money into the temple, he departed and went off and hanged himself.
| The Media -- "One More Night" (Maroon 5) |
"You
and I go hard at each other, like we’re going to war. You
and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the door. You
and I get so dysfunctional; I know that we can’t do this no more. But
there you go again, making me love you. I
stopped using my head, let it all go. And now
I’m feeling stupid, crawling back to you. So I
cross my heart and I hope to die that I’ll only stay with you one
more night. And I know I said it a
million times, but I’ll only stay with you one more night."
Human emotions are
complex, and therefore, discovering romantic love is very complicated.
At times, physical feelings dominate the relationship; at other times,
our reasoning power controls what we are doing. Consequently, even
though a relationship has become dysfunctional--as the group Maroon 5
sings in their song "One More Night"--and probably should cease, the
two in the relationship cannot break apart. Their emotions are creating
a mess in the situation.
The relationship between Jesus and Judas was not a romantic one, of course, but it was one based on love. Jesus chose Judas to be one of the Twelve, and therefore it was a relationship of special significance. It became a dysfunctional one because for some reason Judas could not comprehend what Jesus wanted. In Judas' mind then, he had to make a decision about the future. He chose to move on in his life away from the relationship he had with Jesus, but his unstable emotions were unable to accept his decisions.
"Dysfunctional" relationships occur in our lives, sometimes with unfortunate regularity. It is clear from a romantic point of view, as attested to in Maroon 5's song. But it is also evident in our daily living as well. One party of the relationship may begin to interpret things that are not true or one friend may discover some things about another friend that are disturbing. At that point, something must be done. Either the two should work out a common resolution to the problem, or each will have to go their separate ways. Healthy living demands healthy relationships, and people in any relationship cannot ignore a problem. But as we try to discover what to do, we must always be aware that emotions can disrupt whatever we decide.
If we know that some relationship is dysfunctional, we must do something about it. At the same time, we must understand the emotions that have made the relationship dysfunctional in the first place.
The relationship between Jesus and Judas was not a romantic one, of course, but it was one based on love. Jesus chose Judas to be one of the Twelve, and therefore it was a relationship of special significance. It became a dysfunctional one because for some reason Judas could not comprehend what Jesus wanted. In Judas' mind then, he had to make a decision about the future. He chose to move on in his life away from the relationship he had with Jesus, but his unstable emotions were unable to accept his decisions.
"Dysfunctional" relationships occur in our lives, sometimes with unfortunate regularity. It is clear from a romantic point of view, as attested to in Maroon 5's song. But it is also evident in our daily living as well. One party of the relationship may begin to interpret things that are not true or one friend may discover some things about another friend that are disturbing. At that point, something must be done. Either the two should work out a common resolution to the problem, or each will have to go their separate ways. Healthy living demands healthy relationships, and people in any relationship cannot ignore a problem. But as we try to discover what to do, we must always be aware that emotions can disrupt whatever we decide.
If we know that some relationship is dysfunctional, we must do something about it. At the same time, we must understand the emotions that have made the relationship dysfunctional in the first place.
PRAYER
Good
and gracious God, our relationships with others are often not what they
should be because of our human emotions. Give us the grace to work out
the problems in our relationships. Be with us, we pray.
+++++
GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND
PERSONAL ENRICHMENT
Theme: People In a dysfunctional relationship must decide to either make things better or to move on and begin again.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What do you think was Judas' motivation for betraying Jesus?
2. Money obviously plays a part in Judas' betrayal. Money is and has always been important. What is most people's attitude toward money today, and what should it be?
3. Do you believe that Jesus' and Judas' friendship was ever "close"? Yes or no and why?
4. Given the circumstances of Judas' situation, what should he have done?
5. In our world today, why do people commit "suicide"? Project: prepare a presentation on the prevention of suicide.
6. What is the overlying reason why people remain in a romantic relationship even though it is a dysfunctional one?
7. Text analysis: "You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war." In your opinion, what type of relationship does this describe?
8. What causes most dysfunctional relationships?
9. Text analysis: "Making me love you." How does one make another love her/him?
10. What should a couple do if their relationship has become dysfunctional?
11. What can be done in order to correct "unstable emotions"?
12. The meditation says that dysfunctional relationships happen with "regularity." Do you agree, and why or why not?
13. "Interpreting other's actions" are mentioned in the meditation. Why is this such a common fault?
14. The meditation says that healthy relationships will not ignore a problem. Why is this a true statement?
15. Project: list some characteristics of a "healthy relationship" and likewise of a "dysfunctional relationship.
16. What does the song "One More Night" teach young people?
Theme: People In a dysfunctional relationship must decide to either make things better or to move on and begin again.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What do you think was Judas' motivation for betraying Jesus?
2. Money obviously plays a part in Judas' betrayal. Money is and has always been important. What is most people's attitude toward money today, and what should it be?
3. Do you believe that Jesus' and Judas' friendship was ever "close"? Yes or no and why?
4. Given the circumstances of Judas' situation, what should he have done?
5. In our world today, why do people commit "suicide"? Project: prepare a presentation on the prevention of suicide.
6. What is the overlying reason why people remain in a romantic relationship even though it is a dysfunctional one?
7. Text analysis: "You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war." In your opinion, what type of relationship does this describe?
8. What causes most dysfunctional relationships?
9. Text analysis: "Making me love you." How does one make another love her/him?
10. What should a couple do if their relationship has become dysfunctional?
11. What can be done in order to correct "unstable emotions"?
12. The meditation says that dysfunctional relationships happen with "regularity." Do you agree, and why or why not?
13. "Interpreting other's actions" are mentioned in the meditation. Why is this such a common fault?
14. The meditation says that healthy relationships will not ignore a problem. Why is this a true statement?
15. Project: list some characteristics of a "healthy relationship" and likewise of a "dysfunctional relationship.
16. What does the song "One More Night" teach young people?
©2007 Capuchin
Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America