Jesus said, “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.’ But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife unless the marriage is unlawful causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”   

Miranda Hillard said to her husband Daniel in the movie "Mrs. Doubtfire," "I want a divorce." Admittedly, she had good reason to feel the way she did, but she could just as easily have said, "I want to talk about how I feel," but she did not. It seems that a rule has been placed in our American psyche that reads, "If things do not work out in a marriage, after you have worked at it a little, you can get divorced." Society has accepted the possibility of an "out" in marriage; Christian doctrine has not.  

Perhaps the Christian directive most ignored by Christians is Jesus' statement that people should not get divorced. Current North American statistics reflect that approximately one out of every two marriages end in divorce. Since most North American people are Christians, it is clear that many Christians are not following the teaching of Jesus with regard to separation, divorce and remarriage.

Why do Christians have such a difficult time with this particular doctrine? Hundreds of sociological and psychological explanations have been offered, but whatever justification is put forward, perhaps there may be no other reason than, "It's what I want." Current Christianity gives a mixed message with regard to divorce. Christians hear their leader say in no uncertain terms that there is to be no divorce, and yet they watch half of their Christian brothers and sisters choose it anyway because it is what they want.
 
Of course, there are good reasons for separation and divorce, but the Christian critic of our society must ask whether "good reasons" really exist fifty percent of the time. Could it not be true that people simply do not want to work out a difficult situation? Young people who are not married will some day consider marriage. It is good practice for them to enter discussions on marriage without considering the possibility of divorce. If every young person prepared for marriage in such a way, our statistics on marriage breakdown just might change.                       

THOUGHT
 
PRAYER

Good and gracious God, you and your Son call those of us who choose a married life to live without the possibility of divorce. Help us understand your doctrine, and give us the grace to want to live it if we choose the married state. Be with us, we pray.

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike

©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America