TGIMMjar

	THE CAUTION IN LOVE

The Gospel

JOHN 13:36-38

Simon Peter said to him, "Master, where are you going?" Jesus answered [him], "Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later." Peter said to him, "Master, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times."

The Media -- "Jar of Hearts" (Christina Perri)

"I know I can’t take one more step toward you 'cause all that’s waiting is regret. Don’t you know, I’m not your ghost anymore. You lost the love I love the most. I learned to live half alive, and now you want me one more time. Who do you think you are? Runnin’ ‘round leaving scars, collecting a jar of hearts, tearing love apart. You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. Don’t come back for me. Who do you think you are?"

There was immense pain involved in Jesus' act of redemption. The physical pain was part of it, but another part of it, and perhaps even more painful for the human Jesus, was the pain of rejection. He knew, for example, that his close friend Peter would deny him, and so he felt it from the depths of his being. Love of another can cause pain because we never know what our futures will be, and likewise we never know how the other will eventually feel. It is a chance that we take, and in the Christian understanding of things, we are called to show such love to everyone. Jesus showed the way by giving us the example of love no matter what the pain.

Christina Perri's song "Jar of Hearts" presents a specific instance of love of another, namely romantic love. She has taken the chance of giving her love to someone else, and he has hurt her. Now, she must live with that fact. Her conclusion is that the romantic love that she had will have to cease. It is a good conclusion, it would seem as one studies the circumstances of the song, but the Christian would add another part to her conclusion. She can certainly reason that there should be no further involvement with him, but at the same time, she should continue to love him the way that Jesus reminds us to love everyone.

In the Christian scheme of things, Christina Perri's song presents a difficult lesson. There will be romantic breakups in our western world in which we choose our partner in marriage, but the breakup cannot mean "hatred" or "revenge." Jesus' doctrine of love extends even to people who have hurt us in any way. One of those painful instances in our culture is the unfortunate fact that people hurt one another while dating.

The person discovering romantic love must learn caution, to be sure, but love of another must extend to everyone. In the area of romantic involvement, there will be pain, and pain then becomes the teacher. But the lesson must not be to hate another or never love again. The lesson is to use caution as we discover the possibility of a future partner, even as we strive to love the way Jesus has told us.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, loving another in a romantic way forever is a difficult task in our world. Loving everyone, however, may be more difficult because sometimes people hurt us. Give us the grace to truly love everyone no matter what the circumstances. Be with us, we pray.

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GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: Caution is one of the lessons of being hurt, but we must always love.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Immediately before this passage in John's Gospel, Jesus gave his essential commandment: "Love one another" (13:34). Name some instances in which you have seen people display this commandment.
2. Peter professed his faith in Jesus, although, as Jesus predicted, he would deny him. In what ways in our world today do we see people professing faith in Jesus, then denying him?
3. Jesus told Peter that he indeed would follow him later. Peter, of course, was martyred because of his faith in Jesus. Who are some modern day martyrs?
4. Text analysis: "I'm not your ghost anymore." What is the meaning of the statement?
5. Text analysis: In what ways is a person who has been hurt by another only "half alive"?
6. The song presents the image of a "jar of hearts that have been torn apart." What does this say about the person the lady is singing about?
7. Text analysis: "You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul." What does this say about the person the lady is singing about?
8. There is immense pain in the person in the song's words. If you were her friend, what would be the best way to help her with the pain?
9. The fact that someone has hurt us can be devastating. Often the knowledge comes to us through others, and it may not be the complete truth. How can we be certain that someone has "cheated" on us or is not being completely honest with us?
10. The meditation points out that "caution" is a good lesson to learn from the pain. What does this mean in our lives?
11. The accusation has been made that "there will always be some revenge after a breakup." Is that a correct accusation? Yes or no and why?
12. The idea of "caution" that is presented in the meditation may translate to the idea that we should spend a long time before we get married. In your opinion, what is the best age for marriage?
13. In what ways can "pain" be a teacher?
14. What does the song "Jar of Hearts" teach young people?

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike