When it was evening, Jesus came with the Twelve. And as they reclined at table and were eating, Jesus said, "Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me." They began to be distressed and to say to him, one by one, "Surely it is not I?" He said to them, "One of the Twelve, the one who dips with me into the dish. For the Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born."   

"Step one, you say: 'we need to talk.' He walks; you say, 'sit down, it's just a talk.' He smiles politely back at you; you stare politely right on through some sort of window to your right. As he goes left and you stay right between the lines of fear and blame. And you begin to wonder why you came. Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life. Let him know that you know best, lay down a list of what is wrong, the things you've told him all along, and pray to God he hears you."

The relationship between Jesus and Judas in the Gospels is interesting. It had the potential to be very healthy, as healthy as the relationships between Jesus and the other apostles. At the Last Supper, it appears that Judas could have prevented the relationship from falling apart had he opened himself to Jesus enough to begin some reconciliation. Had he asked the question, "Surely it is not I, Rabbi" with the intention of changing instead of hiding, he might indeed have saved his own life.

The insight of the song "How To Save A Life" by The Fray lies in the fact that it is sincere communication that saves any life. The ability to communicate and the desire to resolve difficulties can make a relationship successful and happy whereas the refusal to talk and discuss difficulties can ruin it. In fact, the ultimate relationship between woman and man, namely marriage, will be strong and worthwhile only if the two communicate well with each other. Quite literally, it is the way to save their marriage.

Of course, communication alone is not sufficient. Judas would have had to admit some personal fault in his relationship with Jesus, and he could not do it. Hence, the relationship never could have been healed. The solution seems so simple: two people in a relationship must both want it to work and be willing to make some effort to make it work. But it is in the end, very difficult. As The Fray sings, "I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness."

The way to save a life is sincere communication with the desire to make any changes that must happen to make the relationship better. Jesus knew that. Modern culture seems to know it as well. One wonders when we will learn!

THOUGHT
 
PRAYER

Good and gracious God, you have set up our world in such a way that we have relationships with one another. Help us in those relationships to grow in love, and in order to grow well, help us learn the art of sincere communication with one another with the intention of truly knowing one another. Be with us, we pray.   

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike

©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America