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	CONTROLLING ANGER

The Gospel

MATTHEW 5:21-22

[Jesus said,] “You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna."

The Media -- "Forget You" (Cee Lo Green)

"I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love and I'm like--forget you. I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough, I'm like--forget you! And forget her too! I said, 'If I was richer, I'd still be with ya’. And although there's pain in my chest, I'm sorry, I can't afford a Ferrari, but that don't mean I can't get you there. I guess he's an xbox and I'm more atari, but the way you play your game ain't fair. I pity the fool that falls in love with you. I still love you."

The evangelist Matthew collected some of the major statements of Jesus in what has been called "The Sermon on the Mount" in chapters 5-7 of his Gospel. Specifically, Matthew remembers Jesus talking about six different areas of living, beginning with the control of anger. It is significant that he begins this way because of all the problems connected with good living, anger may be the biggest cause of other problems. Jesus' thinking may very well have been--if a person controls anger, then such a one can reach maturity much easier and quicker.

The situation of Cee Lo Green's song is a "case in point" of what Jesus said. The man is angry because he has lost his girlfriend, and his anger makes him say to her (and to her present boyfriend), "Forget You." He says it, but he really does not mean it because he is still in love with her. His anger may very well bring an end to a relationship that he still wants to keep. If he could control his anger, perhaps some rational decision could be reached, and in the end, he would grow in his knowledge of what it means to fall in love and who to love.

Our dictionary defines "anger" to be "a strong feeling of displeasure." The word to think about perhaps is the word "feeling." Anger is an emotion, and every emotion can be controlled. We are going to become angry or feel displeasure about some things in life, to be sure, and with many of them, we will be "justifiably angry," that is, angry for good reasons. But whether our anger is justifiable or not, if we can view our anger in a somewhat more "rational" manner, we will be able to control what we do as a result of our anger, thus directing our behavior toward a more mature conclusion.

The idea of being "rational" when it comes to studying our anger involves being objective in what is going on. We must see the facts of what is really happening. Perhaps I have done something that has caused the anger; perhaps the other person is hurting because of something else; perhaps there are circumstances that I do not know. Indeed, perhaps my anger is nothing more than my own selfish reaction to a situation that did not go the way I wanted. To understand it better, I need to study it objectively--without my own agenda.

Anger is a problem in life. It always will be because it is part of our human nature. But if we can look at it in a more objective way, our lives will be much more enjoyable, and as Jesus says, will lead us to enjoy eternal happiness.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, part of our human nature involves dealing with anger. Your Son has explicitly told us to stop our anger lest we be condemned. Help us listen to him and control our feelings of anger a little better. Be with us, we pray.

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GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: We must control our anger if we want to be mature.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Project: outline the "Sermon on the Mount" discussing each section.
2. In the reading, Jesus' followers cannot be satisfied with merely avoiding the act of murder, but must also curb the anger and the insults that lead to murder. What are the most common causes for the sin of murder in our world?
3. The point of Jesus' words is that anger should be taken as seriously as murder is. Do most Christians consider "anger" to be this serious? Yes or no and why?
4. The "Sanhedrin" in the reading is the "local court of law"; "Gehenna" is hell. It is an exaggeration to say that we will be sent to jail or hell simply because we are angry. But Jesus makes his point. What are the worst examples of anger that you are aware of?
5. The original version of the song is not entitled "Forget You." The song uses a word that has become a slang insulting word beginning with the letter "f". Why do artists use words like that in their popular songs?
6. In your opinion, do such slang words influence our young people who listen to the song? Yes or no and why?
7. The song describes a common problem that leads to anger, namely, relationships with people of the opposite sex, and the dating scene of high school and college. (The video labeled for the "clean version" of the song portrays this.) What do you consider to be the fundamental rules for dating in our society?
8. The song says that the reason why his girlfriend left is because he didn't have enough money. In your opinion, is this a common cause of dating disagreements? Yes or no and why?
9. Words are often said in anger that should not be said. For example, "I pity the fool that falls in love with you." One of the fundamental rules of life is that we can never take back what we have said. What should the person in the song do about these words if they get back together?
10. Text analysis: "I still love you." What does the person in the song have to do to make the relationship work?
11. Do you agree that anger is the cause of most other problems? Yes or no and why?
12. Give some instances that you are aware of in which anger causes other problems.
13. What are some other emotions that play an important part in our lives? Are they good or bad?
14. Name some circumstances which might cause "justifiable anger."
15. What does it mean to be "objective" as we analyze our anger?
16. What role does "selfishness" play in a person's anger?
17. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, second edition treats "anger" in the context of "revenge." Project: discuss number 2302 of the Catechism.
18. What does the song "Forget You" teach young people?

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike