Some Pharisees said to Jesus: “Why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her?” He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.”   

“We were drawn from the weeds, we were brave like soldiers, falling down under the pale moonlight. You were holding to me like someone broken, and I couldn’t tell you but I’m telling you now—just let me hold you while you’re falling apart, just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down. Fall on me, tell me everything you want me to be, forever with you, forever in me, ever the same. I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me. Forever with you, forever in me, ever the same.” 

The doctrine of Jesus is often extremely difficult. There are many instances where the current trend of twenty-first century society simply does not agree with what Jesus said. The granting of divorce is one of them. Jesus did not allow it—period. There was the possibility of a very rare exception—the phrase “unless the marriage is unlawful” in Matthew’s Gospel—but for the most part, in Jesus’ mind, the permanent commitment of marriage must be upheld always.

The songs of our day often speak about love and often there is the idea of commitment that runs through them. But, our world does not do well with commitments. Ruled by selfish human natures, people of our world too often make what might be called “temporary permanent commitments.” Of course, such commitments are a contradiction, but they are so much easier than “permanent permanent commitments.” Granted that there are legitimate exceptions in which permanent commitments should be abandoned, but one must wonder whether there should be as many exceptions as there are.

The answer to the difficulty of a permanent commitment comes before the commitment is made. People must spend time and study on questions like "Are you willing to say and mean 'forever'?" "Do you know what you are getting into?" "Are you aware of what the permanence of marriage means?" "Will we honor and love each other all the days of our lives?"

If we want happiness in our world, and we all do, we have to understand the meaning of a permanent commitment--whether it is the promise to be a friend “forever,” or a vow to live a way of life, or the promise to remain with someone as wife or husband all the days of one’s life.                    

THOUGHT
 
PRAYER

Good and gracious God, your Son often spoke words that are difficult to follow. Such is the case with his words about marriage. If we choose to be married, help us begin to understand the importance of a permanent commitment of marriage. Be with us, we pray.

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike

©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America