[Jesus'] disciples returned, and were amazed that he was talking with a woman, but still no one said, "What are you looking for?" or "Why are you talking with her?" The woman left her water jar and went into the town and said to the people, "Come see a man who told me everything I have done. Could he possibly be the Messiah?" They went out of the town and came to him.    

"I think you can do much better than me; after all the lies that I made you believe, guilt kicks in and I told myself I won’t miss you. But I remember what it feels like beside you; I really miss your hair in my face, and the way your innocence tastes, and I think you should know this: you deserve much better than me."

It seems that the person in Hinder's song "Better Than Me" has in effect given up on himself, and tells the woman in the relationship that she can do much better than staying with him. He is a man with very poor self-esteem.            

The woman in John's Gospel whom we have come to call "the Samaritan woman" had a number of situations in her life that she wished were otherwise. It no doubt caused her to look at her life from a negative point of view. In modern psychological terms, she had developed a poor self-image. Suddenly, as Jesus took time for her, her image of herself began to change. Her self-esteem improved.

Psychologists tell us that our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. We know, for example, that experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. 

What does one do about poor self-esteem. We can't live our lives all over again, obviously, but we can take some time for good honest thought about the way we are thinking and acting right now. The person in Hinder's song could have talked to his girlfriend, told her how he felt, and she may well have convinced him how important he was.

One further note from Hinder's song—from the video, it is evident that the man is on drugs, and that in fact, he dies from use of them, as the group sings the song presumably at his funeral. What caused him to use drugs? The chances are very strong that it was the low self-esteem, and the song becomes a lesson for people who are inclined toward the use of illegal drugs. Poor self-esteem leads to actions that can harm us. Perhaps we should take the time to work at improving our self-images.                        

THOUGHT
 
PRAYER

Good and gracious God, we are people who constantly need your help to love ourselves a little better. Too often we are not convinced that we are worth much. Yet we know that we are because you have created us and loved us. Give us the grace to make the efforts to be people who really understand how important we are.  Be with us, we pray. 

Questions, comments? Let me know. Email Fr. Mike

©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America