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Some Thoughts on the Liturgy
[using 2:2-10]
THE LOVE OF HUSBAND AND WIFE
+ The German philosopher Arthur
Schopenhauer used an interesting parable at one time as he talked about
family relationships
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he talks of the lesson that porcupines give human beings
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on bitter winter days, porcupines pair up in twos, and move together to
keep warm
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soon they hurt one another with their quills and so must part, only to get
cold again
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the porcupines move back and forth, freezing and hurting until they find
the optimum distance at which they can huddle in warmth,
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but not hurt each other too much
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Schopenhauer’s point was that family relationships are the same way
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what they must do: discover the optimum distance whereby they bring about
love without pain
+ That’s a very good analogy for
husband and wife, the primary relationship in a family
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and our guide, Jesus, has some ideas on that
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we see in the Gospel that Jesus would not give a yes/no answer to the
question of the Pharisees
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he by-passed the question, and in his response, stated that women have just
as many rights as men: each person is important
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taking the stress off a sexist remark like “is it lawful for a husband…”
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gave instead the ideal on which law can be based, quoting Genesis, chapter
2 with his own commentary
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Jesus seems pretty clear about marriage and how we
are expected to treat it
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of course, he was living in a different time than we are
+ I know full well that we are
dealing with a highly charged subject here
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we all know what the divorce rate is and that there are happy marriages
after a divorce
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and according to the law of averages, there are a number
of separated and divorced people here, as there are in all of our
Christian churches
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then too, I am not married, and do not live a married life
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a life often that I simply do not know anything about
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but it is evident from the Scriptures of the Mass that something must be
said about marriage as part of a homily which explains the Scriptures today
+ Yes, the Church has granted
exceptions with regard to marriage today, to the
point of a complete separation or annulments
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and we can never judge those who choose to separate
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but the integrity of this Gospel message must be maintained
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good marriages or good marriages after divorce and re-marriage are to be
considered the ideal
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somehow we have to get across to people that if
there is going to be hope for our world or our Church, when people choose
to be married, they have to be good husbands and wives
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about 95% of you choose marriage
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although those of us who are not married are important in our world and
Church, I firmly believe that it cannot hold a candle compared to you who
are married for many reasons, but most of all, simply because of numbers
+ I believe that the single most
important influence on a young person’s life is whether
or not the parents of the young person love each other
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I have my reasons but reasons are not the
important thing—the absolute important thing is that husband and wife
practice this love for one another
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that means, of course, work and effort
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it means time spent with communication, real talking to one another and
time spent with each other—period—especially in this busy world in which we
live
+ When I spoke this way a couple
years ago, a person came up to me afterwards saying that he was very
disappointed in me and he told me why
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it was because I was too wishy-washy with regard to
people who choose to separate for whatever reason
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to a certain extent, he has a point
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but generally speaking condemnation will get us
nowhere except to make people angry
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what this Gospel means to me today is that Jesus is telling married people
that they have to really work at their marriage
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and if there are problems in the marriage, at the very least, they have to work at love in their lives
+ The Church is strong about
“respecting life”
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for me, what Jesus says today is the ultimate rule of respecting life
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if we can convince—really convince—married people how important they are in
this world and Church,
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we will automatically have love in every family
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and love will dictate how we act toward life,
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and Schopenhauer’s parable will hold true:
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we will find the space in which we will hurt no one and at the same time
give each other the warmth we need.
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