JOHN 7:43-51

So a division occurred in the crowd because of [Jesus]. Some of them even wanted to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him. So the guards went to the chief priests and Pharisees, who asked them, “Why did you not bring him?” The guards answered, “Never before has anyone spoken like this one.” So the Pharisees answered them, “Have you also been deceived? Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him? But this crowd, which does not know the law, is accursed.” Nicodemus, one of their members who had come to him earlier, said to them, “Does our law condemn a person before it first hears him and finds out what he is doing?”

Gospelthink: Nicodemus finally came to understand who I was.

"Fever dream high in the quiet of the night. You know that I caught it. Bad boy, killing me slow, out the window, I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below. Devils roll the dice; angels roll their eyes. What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more. I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar; said, ‘I’m fine,’ but it wasn’t true; I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you. Oh, it’s a cruel summer. He looks up grinning like the devil.”    

One of the most difficult aspects of growing for an older adolescent and "twenty-something" is the act of developing love relationships, and ultimately choosing one of them for marriage. It is not easy because every one of us have different ways of doing things and different ways of acting that we have learned from our backgrounds. Everyone's personality is very different, and struggling to allow our own personality to mesh with another is indeed quite difficult.

Taylor Swift's song "Cruel Summer" expresses those feelings quite well. The initial reaction of her meeting her boyfriend is extremely exhilarating: a "fever dream" that she "caught." But, as usually happens, the early relationship is shaky and she has "secrets" that she is not sharing with him. And in terms of their relationship, then the summer is "cruel," that is their time together is difficult.

Searching the Gospels for the same feeling. There may not be a romantic feeling as young people have early on, but one finds a number of people who were attracted to the personality and thought of Jesus Christ, but needed time and patience to develop it. Nicodemus was one of them. He had come to Jesus only at night, no doubt a little afraid of what his fellow Pharisees might think of him. Then after the initial fear, he finally worked up the courage to defend him as he and his fellow Pharisees were discussing what to do concerning his ministry. It takes time to develop any type of love relationship.

The lesson is absolutely necessary for our modern world in which too many love relationships fall apart in bitterness and hatred. Modern man and woman must spend time and patience as we develop our romantic relationships with one another. If we manage to consider our developing love relationships in a cautious way, our summers and our lives will not be "cruel."

Most of us choose to get married as we live our lives in our complex world. We must strive to see that our final choice will be one that is happy forever, and in order to do that well, we must give it time and patience.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, it is difficult to develop true love in today's world because of our individual feelings. Therefore, we need your help as we do it. Give us the grace to understand how to love well. Be with us, we pray. 

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GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: Developing love relationships is difficult and takes time and patience. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What does the song "Cruel Summer" teach young people?
2. Besides Nicodemus' bravery in the Gospel, he brings up a good point: in general, why do people not listen to people before they accuse them?
3. Analysis: the lady in the song is obviously feeling strongly about the man. In general, do we tend to allow our emotions to dictate our behavior? Yes or no and why?
4. In general, how much time should someone spend before he/she makes a decision for a permanent commitment?
5. In your opinion, what is the principal cause of permanent commitment breakdown in our society? Why?
6. In what ways has "divorce" hurt our world?  

©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America