MATTHEW 5:33-37

Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all, not by heaven, for it is God’s throne, nor by the earth, for it is his footstool, not by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Do not swear by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black. Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one.” 

Gospelthink: I ask you to look at the words that you say. Am I honest in my approach to others?

"I saw you dancing in a crowded room, you look so happy when I’m not with you. But then you saw me, caught you by surprise, a single teardrop falling from your eye. I don’t know why I run away, I’ll make you cry when I run away. Take me back ‘cause I wanna stay. Save your tears for another day. So, I made you think that I would always stay, I said some things that I should never say. Yeah, I broke your heart like someone did to mine, and now you won’t love me for a second time." 

In his song 'Save Your Tears," The Weeknd sings about a breakup that happened and the man in the relationship would like to have it back. It seems from the song that she had broken his heart first, and then he got back at her, and in the process used some words, as he said, "that I should never say." As a result, there is no second chance. It brings up the whole question of what words should be said when a person wants to make a commitment.

For Jesus it was really very clear. If you are going to make a promise, you do not have to call on anyone to verify what you are doing. You do not have to swear by God or heaven. You do not have to call down evil on yourself if the promise is not kept. You simply have to mean what you say. If you say "Yes," then, yes, you will do it. If you say "No," then, no, you will not do it.

It may be that our world has not learned the lesson very well. Every young adult and adult member of our society knows of promises that politicians make that are never or only partially kept. We also see a divorce rate that is soaring, even though the couple has said "forever." We see relationships in which people will promise anything in order to fulfill their selfish desires. We see sincere commitments that are made by both sides of an agreement, but one of the parties does not mean it. And case in point here, we see people who say some things in anger, but then want to take them back and the other person will not forget.

Sometimes we can "explain away" the words that we have said in anger. But the adage is true: "You can never un-say what has been said." It is really a question of how the person to whom the words are said judges the person that says the words. Does he/she really mean them, or is it just anger or stupidity, and can I live forever with the fact that he/she said those words at one time?

It seems in Jesus's mind, if a person has said "yes" to a permanent commitment, then nothing should make either party change their minds. If we say something we mean it. But if the word "forever" has not been spoken yet in a relationship, the couple must be very careful about the words that come out of their mouths. Words said are important words.

PRAYER

Good and gracious God, we all have the power of speaking. But often the words that we say are not what they should be because of our own sinfulness or because we simply forget about the words' importance. Help us learn your lesson of direct speech. Be with us, we pray. 

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GUIDE FOR CLASSROOM PRESENTATION AND PERSONAL ENRICHMENT

Theme: We must be very careful about the words that we say to a loved one.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What does the song "Save Your Tears" teach young people?
2. In the song, do you think that the girl should give the boy another chance? Yes or no and why?
3. Why are  breakups so difficult?
4. In general, do people trust other people when they promise something? Yes or no and why?
5. In general, what is your opinion about why people get divorces, that is, what causes marriage breakdown?
6. Is it a true statement that we can never "un-say" what has been said? Yes or no and why?
7. In general, do young couples think carefully about the words that they say to one another?

Questions©2007 Capuchin Province of Mid-America
Fr. Mike Scully is a member of the Capuchin Province of Mid-America